Pain

Title: Pain
Group/Pairing: Arashi/YamaPair
Prompt: no. 002: Pain
Word Count: 915
Rating: PG
Summary: Ohno is wrapped up in a wave of abuse
Note: This is actually a request fic for Maya-chan. I’m sooo sorry that it is so late x: You can consider it a Christmas present? It actually took me a while to think of a story because she requested an angsty fic, and I wasn’t in the mood for it >< So I hope that this came out okay, the idea hit me really fast and it ended up being short, but I do believe that it came out okay, I don’t dislike it so I hope you enjoy it! <3

——

Pain, aches, blurred vision, confusion. Ohno sat up from wherever he was, the bed, chair, floor, couch, he didn’t know. All he knew was that he was in pain, everywhere. He raised a shaky hand to his face to rub the sleep and disorientation from his eyes and winced, shocked by the pain the touch elicited. Yet, he wasn’t.

Memories flooded through him slowly and uncomfortably as he stood. He was on the couch, he noticed, which made sense. Pain pinched at his cheek, nose, upper arms, and stomach. Gradually it all began to make sense again, as usual.

Ohno stumbled to the bathroom, an arm held closely over his bruised stomach. What did I do, he tried to remember, to make him so mad this time? But he couldn’t remember, not right away at least. Usually, that memory came last, if at all. He didn’t always get hit for a reason, but in the end he always attempted to find one. The fact that he could be hurt by the one he loved for no reason just seemed to incredibly illogical and even more painful than the skin he was in.

Once in the bathroom, Ohno shut the door, a soft click echoing audibly in the small room. He slid carefully out of his clothes, bruised body aching. Stripped and bare, he turned to look at himself in the mirror. What he saw wasn’t pleasant; ugly bursts of gradient black and purple adorned his body in such an intricate way that they were almost beautiful. The reasons behind them, however, were lacking, disgusting, and painful. They flowered and wove around his arms, exploded on his chest and stomach as dark, nasty fireworks. And on his face they masked his identity as if there were purposefully painted on his cheek bones and nose. His lips had swollen so much that he didn’t look like himself. Soft shades of red brushed and cracked against those puffy lips; he innately winced when he licked them.

After staring in wonder at himself for a good few minutes, Ohno moved away from the mirror to turn on the shower. He stepped in while bracing himself, the first shower after the assault was always the worst. Hissing, he stood under the scorching water, letting the heat sink into his battered bones.

Sho wouldn’t be back until later that night. And when he returned, he would probably have flowers and champagne and some other kind of present for Ohno, something Ohno had been wanting. That’s the way it turned out, every time. Sho was always apologetic for the next week, nursing Ohno back to health, making sure he had everything and anything he wanted. But it wasn’t long before that wore off. It wasn’t long before Sho got back to drinking, before the stress of work got to him, before there wasn’t much Ohno could to other than to let himself be Sho’s punching bag. Sometimes Ohno would screw up, but that wasn’t too often; Ohno was a docile person.

Anyone who knew what Sho did to Ohno told Ohno to get out of the relationship. Honestly, Ohno had told himself that even more often than they had; but he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t leave Sho no matter how violent he could become. Right now wasn’t even close to the worst Ohno had encountered. Sho could be incredibly violent and unable to control himself.

Ohno was tired of it, tired of the pain and the obtrusive loneliness he felt every time he woke up. Sometimes he wouldn’t be able to remember the occurrences of the night before and just felt the pain. But others the memories would come back all too hard and he would wish that he didn’t have to remember, that he could just start over anew every time, like Sho did.

He washed himself gently, trying hard not too wince too much otherwise tears would be brought to his eyes. Ohno had pleaded with Sho before, but it would just end in Sho getting angry with him, or with Sho begging Ohno not to leave him. And Ohno could never refuse, he never would. He was stuck in this mess of a relationship. Without Sho, he would have nowhere to go, no one to rely on, no one to love, and he was frightened of that.

—-

 

Later that night Ohno awoke to a gentle pressure on his cheek. A hand wove itself gently into his soft brown hair which had finally dried while he was asleep on the couch.

“Satoshi,” whispered a deep, rich voice into his ear. Ohno sat up quickly, blinking into Sho’s face. A soft smile was seewn deeply onto those plump lips of his and as usual, Ohno found himself getting lost in them and the swirling dark brown eyes that revealed so little yet said so much.

“Are you hurting, Satoshi? I’m so sorry about last night, I…” Ohno stopped listening. He didn’t listen to Sho’s excuses anymore, they were all lame and forced. But he did accept the small wrapped gift and the bottle of expensive champagne from Sho’s warm hands, smiling up at him in what he hoped looked like gratitude.

Sho sighed in relief at this smile, what Ohno had expected, and lowered himself down onto the cushions beside his lover, squeezing his hand. “I love you, Satoshi.” Ohno found it hard to answer back, a morbid tightness gripping his chest as the words hit his heart.

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